Hi Merryberry,
I've just read the link in your post and am astounded by how you've been treated. No you are not being over sensitive, and certainly shouldn't have been prodded to explain your medical history to them, especially in front of others. From my experience of having worked in Nurseries (not Sure Start I admit) if we saw a parent needing to move a large chair around with them at a stay and play day, one of the staff would have gone and carried it for them or found more to place at strategic places, without asking any questions. To be honest we might have wondered what their need was but it would not be unusual to have parents with mobility needs, post op movement needs, or even grandparents who just need a higher chair. Usually, in time the parent/carer would tell us but only once they felt confident and trusted us with their children, this in turn would mean that we would make sure there was a higher chair for them at events like open afternoons or plays or anything like that and other things like if their child was ill we could take the child home to them rather than dragging a parent in pain on an additional journey. Like wise with a parent drinking or eating, it could be that they were diabetic etc etc.
So you are absolutley right to be annoyed and upset. Obviously this Sure Start has had no training whatsoever in equal opportunities. It sound like as its a new venture they've all just been briefed on the 'rules' rather than the responsibilites of respect.
I certainly think that if you can face doing it complain not to the manager but to officer responsible for Sure Start at your Local Authority (most of them give a contact point on their websites) Or maybe you could give them a nras leaflet so that you don't have to explain.
You sound like a great mum making the effort to take your daughters to a new venture, with the opportunity that Sure Start could (if it were run properly) offer. As you say it is for families as well as children.
I really hope you are feeling less sad about it now and hope that you can get a good and hopefully pain free nights sleep.
With love
Sheila

Dear Merryberry,

sorry you had this bad experience and with health issues to deal with,

when u feel up to it i would definitely let them know how u feel - then hopefully they can think about changing their over-zealous unprofessional approaches - but try not to focus on this too much tho' - it's their problem for them to deal with,

I just wanted to say it's blatantly obvious that YOU are a great mum and thank you for being supportive to others, including me, in other difficult situations

...i've been there too in the past - years ago with Sophie / possibly with RA symptoms but undiagnosed way back then - mine was a Stepford wives situation - some just too perfect to be true - upset for a little while about things until we ditched that playgroup, found another and all lived happily ever after,

Some things you can just do without,
do hope you have somewhere that is right for you and some support to help with positive adjustments, stay in touch xx

Big hugs ~ lizz xxxxx

I am so upset for you. A quiet word out of earshot of others may have been acceptable but public grilling followed by the rest was way out of line.

A private civilised word from you to them, when/if you feel up to it, may be the answer. Gosh, you have to fit into what they expect of you not the other way around. Public service not!!!

Eleanor x

I read your link, Frankie, and I`m so sorry you were treated in such an insensitive manner. It is they who were in the wrong - wait a few days, work out what you want to say to them, and if you have the energy, go and put your message across. You are doing the best for your children, don`t let anyone interfere with that.

Take care,

Kathleen x

Frankie, my love - this is just appalling.

You are most certainly NOT being oversensitive. No-one should be expected to explain illness/disability in front of a group of people. This guy's attitude stinks and I really hope someone reports him to the powers that be. Maybe, as others have already said, you can go back and talk to them when you are feeling calmer. They owe you a HUGE apology. Please don't stop going until you have had time to think things through as your lovely son will benefit so much from this and you will meet other Mums and make new friends.

Much love
Jeanxxxx

thanks everyone. i think i'm going to a different venue next week to see the more senior manager who was there to discuss their problems.
any attempt to discuss mine will be rebuffed, i can tell you. i just do not trust them to be thoughtful or respectful enough. anyway, i've forgotten it for now for a nice quiet family weekend.

managed to take my humira last night, and already enjoying the lowered heat and ache in elbows etc. lovely. and am womanfully ignoring my tonsils which are doing a whole ring of fire thing as per post humira usual.

thanks again everyone.
jenni, avoidance of known 'dumb' spots is becoming a good technique for me too.
lauged at ingorance is contagious:)

now not at all happy to go in this week - too busy enjoying ourselves, relaxed etc.
'fraid to say, this mini debacle has convinced me Sure Start not effective.